A Parent’s Guide to Fighting Seasonal Depression

While I spend most of my year looking forward to Fall then Christmas and the scattering of family birthdays in between, I also dread something else: the early sunset. I already hate being cold, so add in an early nighttime and the need to hibernate, and I’m suddenly one of the millions of people affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Though to be fair, it’s not that sudden. You can feel it coming on with each layer of clothing you put on before going outside. The days are shorter, your sleeves grow longer, and there’s a ticking clock with the upcoming holiday season. I remember years ago, a friend of mine sat in the window crying as she looked at the snow as it attacked her home and saying we lied to her when we said the winters were mild. At the time I lovingly comforted her and told her it was bad timing, but now a decade (and then some) later, I find myself feeling weepy looking at grey skies while trying to keep a toddler entertained.

Fortunately, there are a TON of medically recommended strategies, and homey, feel-good fixes that can help.

Like Sheryl Crowe croons, “I’m gonna soak up the sun.”

Did you know that according to the National Institutes of Health, almost 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. have low vitamin D? Not all is lost though; you can still have some sun even when it’s hiding behind the clouds:

1. Light therapy. It just takes 20-30 minutes daily to interrupt your winter blues. You can find reasonably priced light therapy boxes with a quick Google search!
2. Natural light. Open up your curtains! Simple and effective.
3. Go outside. Ultimately the most effective option. Grab a scarf and a hat, bundle up the kids, and take a cup of coffee with you! Maybe throw a snowball at your kids for good measure.

“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.” – Elle Woods

A silly but true quote from one of our leading ladies in pink. Of course there’s a myriad of benefits to exercise, but there are also a ton of mental health benefits! The National Institutes of Health has said “Exercise improves mental health by reducing anxiety, depression, and negative mood and by improving self-esteem and cognitive function.” Don’t go to the gym?

1. Have a family dance party! Tell Alexa to crank the 90’s pop and get jiggy with it.
2. Get outside! Two birds with 1 stone: get some vitamin D while you build a snow fort, go ice skating, or sled down the biggest hill you can find. Or just stomp on crunchy leaves.
3. Check out YouTube. There are thousands of at-home workouts, many of which are free! Check out Grow with Jo or Moves With Molly (not sponsored, I just like them!)

“Lean on me, when you’re not strong…”

We’re not solitary creatures, and we need our village (whatever that looks like for you). I felt so isolated when my son was first born, as he arrived in early December when everyone’s hiding from the brisk wind and frigid temps. But staying connected made a world of difference!

1. Playdates: Take turns hosting at each other’s houses so you can lighten the load. You can also visit any of the incredible indoor play places in the KC metro area.
2. Support groups: Winter can feel even more impossible when you’re struggling, be it with grief, infertility, health, etc. Find a support group of folks also going through it and help hold each other up!
3. Family nights: Pick a night of the week and make it your dedicated family night! It will give you something to look forward to as you play games, watch movies, or do themed dinners.

Get by with a little help from your friends…

Remember your Vitamin D issues? There’s no shame in supplements, and these are some of my faves. Find some that have minimal ingredients and watch your outlook change.

1. Vitamin D. Check with your doctor- I’m just another mom, not a medical professional.
2. Herbal teas. There’s something beautiful and calming about having a tea ritual. Chamomile and lemon balm can be calming, peppermint can be energizing. Take a few minutes to steep your tea and savor the scents.

Sleep like a baby (or at least try to!)

Listen, I struggle with sleep like many other people and have a toddler that sometimes wakes up two hours early to choose violence. “Sleeping like a baby” sounds like a pipe dream at this point. Just do your best and see if you can make some changes!

1. Try to keep some consistency, even on the weekends. Don’t change your sleep routine drastically from day to day, even if that means you stop doomscrolling an hour early. (It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me)
2. Speaking of rituals… create a bedtime routine. Your kid brushes their teeth, reads some books, sings some songs, then goes to bed. Why can’t you do something for yourself too? Have some tea, read a few chapters, wash your face, and get to bed early.
3. Limit screen time. Look, I’m sorry, I’m not coming for anyone here. I’m the queen of 10 p.m. TikTok viewing. But avoiding that harsh lighting right before bed only benefits us all! We can do this.

Give yourself grace. Winter is cold and it sucks a lot of the time. Parenting can also be cold and suck sometimes. Why else would the U.S. Surgeon General issue an “advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents?” Celebrate your little wins, even if that’s sitting in front of a window for 10 minutes a day.

Seasonal depression can feel like walking through your own personal fog, but you can lighten the load. You can look forward to the sun coming shining on your face, to the warmth of spring, to melting ice cream on the sidewalk. Find the joy where you can and pat yourself on the back for surviving both yours and your kid’s winter meltdowns. You’re doing a great job.

What’s your favorite winter pick-me-up? Drop some wisdom in the comments and share your sunshine!