To the mothers grieving the loss of their partners this Father’s Day, please take your time and know that you are not alone.
It’s normal to experience the five stages of grief in a non-linear process. These waves can continue whether it has been days or years since your loss.
To the widow’s family and loved ones, let’s explore practical ways to help navigate the holiday because the old “let me know if you need anything” isn’t as helpful as intended. Although it is well meaning, if we’re being honest it puts additional mental load and an obligation onto the mom who is holding together so many pieces already.
June is synonymous with celebrating “dads and grads.” Seeing ads everywhere you turn can make the build up to Father’s Day extremely challenging for those mourning a loss. Fortunately, there are resources available dedicated to supporting widows and their children.
Below is a snapshot of services that can be accessed locally in Kansas City and through convenient virtual options.
Youth Grief Support in Kansas City
Kansas City Hospice (KCH) offers many support and counseling resources. Camp Erin is the largest national grief camp network for youth and families grieving the death of a significant person in their lives. Families can attend locally for free. Camp Carousel is a free one day camp for children ages 6-17. It offers a safe environment to explore grief and learn essential coping skills.
Best Selling Books
- Black Widow: A Sad-Funny Journey Through Grief for People Who Normally Avoid Books with Words Like “Journey” in the Title by Leslie Gray Streeter.
- Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown
- It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine.
- Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love by Earl A. Grollman
- The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
Virtual Support Resources
Help Texts provides immediate grief and mental health support through text messaging. This is not therapy, but expert support for all stages of life’s challenges delivered directly to your phone. You can gift a 12-month subscription to someone or start your own. Subscribers can enter details specific to their needs and include a few friends or family to also receive educational text messages and tips to meaningfully support their grief journey.
Reimagine is a global non-profit organization that helps all people channel the hard parts of life into meaningful action and growth. Their programs are based in the science of Post Traumatic Growth. They host monthly events and have a large video library of resources.
Eluna Network is a non-profit dedicated to supporting children and families impacted by grief or addiction. They have an online resource center filled with articles, activities and more.
How to Support a Widow
Navigating this challenging time will look different for everyone. Consider ways you can check-in and offer meaningful support. Can you lighten their load by cooking, cleaning or providing childcare? Be thoughtful and give a small gift to show support, no matter how much time has passed since their loss. Be patient with your loved one and ask what they need, but be respectful if they simply prefer space.
Honoring Dad
“Grief is not a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love.” Earl A. Grollman
Do what feels right for you to honor your loved one. Experts suggest writing dad a letter, doing his hobby, visiting his favorite place and sharing memories. How you celebrate may change over the years and that’s OK, too. Remember, there is no wrong way to spend Father’s Day.
Most importantly, normalize whatever emotion(s) you are feeling and do not be afraid or ashamed to seek support. Moms are notorious for bearing the weight of the world, but please do not feel pressure to go through this alone.
