This post is sponsored by Advent Health Cancer Institute.
Caring for a friend or family member who is battling illness is never easy, but it can be especially difficult when a parent is diagnosed with cancer. You may find yourself swapping roles with your parent, causing your mom or dad to experience loss of identity and independence.
The role reversal may also present added stress for you while juggling responsibilities like helping your parent, work and caring for your own children. You may also be thinking about your own health and questioning if the diagnosis your parent is fighting is something that you will face in the future.
Below is a list of tips to make this difficult situation a little easier on everyone involved.
Supporting a Parent with Cancer
Be there for your parent
People with cancer do not want to feel like a burden. Tell your parent upfront that you want to assist so they do not have to ask. A good place to start is to offer empathy and emotional support by actively listening. Let them know that any feeling is valid and encourage them to reach out to support groups or therapy, if needed. You can help arrange transportation to appointments, assist in ordering or picking up groceries and prepping meals for treatment days. If you can attend appointments, jot down notes for your parent to refer to later.
Reach out to a social worker or navigator
The oncologist’s office can put you in touch with a social worker or nurse navigator to find community resources and support groups to make your parent’s cancer journey and your life a little more manageable. Gilda’s Club is an excellent resource and offers special programs for both patients and caregivers.
Lean on your support system
Let your family and friends know how you are feeling and what you need. It might be companionship, meals of your own, or help running kids to and from activities.
Set time aside for you
You must take care of yourself if you want to take care of others. Listen to cyour mind and body, otherwise you will quickly become exhausted. It is easy to be consumed by appointments while handling all the responsibilities you had prior to becoming a caregiver. Putting time on your schedule for self-care is just as important as putting the next meeting or appointment on your calendar. Set aside time for a 30-minute walk or get lost in a book a couple times a week. Clear your mind periodically so you can be there for your parent as best as possible.
Be prepared for the future
Talk with your parent about their health care wishes. Regardless of health status, everyone should have a durable power of attorney for medical decisions and talk with family about what you do and do not want. You may assume to know what your parent wants, but that assumption may add stress when it comes time to make the hard decisions. Have these conversations ahead of time so you know exactly what your family member wants. And remember, you can change health care wishes at any time.
Allison Denney, LMSW, is a social worker at the AdventHealth Cancer Institute on the AdventHealth Shawnee Mission campus. For more information about cancer care at AdventHealth, visit CancerCareKC.com or call 913-632-9100.
