I love children’s books. Even before I had kids, I loved reading to my nieces and nephews and kept a mental list of all the books I would want to add to my child’s collection one day. I always find myself lost in the children’s book section at Barnes and Noble (my favorite B&N location in Kansas City is on The Plaza) and I really love finding local, independently-owned children’s book stores (like Reading Reptile in Brookside) whenever I visit new cities. Thanks to the generosity of friends and family (and mama’s credit card), my one-year-old daughter has already amassed quite the collection of books, including our current favorites: On The Night You Were Born, What Makes a Rainbow, The Little Blue Truck (and the sequel!), and Dancing Feet. I can’t wait to get her started on Fancy Nancy in a couple of years, too! There is, however, one book in particular that you will never find on my bookshelf …
I would like to present Exhibit A for discussion:
I read this book “pre-kids” at a friend’s baby shower. She received it as a gift, and upon opening it, burst into tears. I guess she already knew the story. The other moms knowingly smiled and nodded, hands over their hearts, as if sharing her tearful sentiments. As the gifts were passed around the room, I held on to this one so I could give it a quick read. As my friend was wiping away tears and choking out a “thank you” to the gift-giver, I was laughing hysterically under my breath, shedding a few tears of a different kind! One of the older ladies next to me looked annoyed, leaned over and quietly said, “when you have kids of your own, you’ll understand.”
A few years later, I have a child of my own, and I still don’t get it. This book should have a subtitle:
Love You Forever: Making pregnant and postpartum hormonal women cry buckets of unreasonable tears since 1986
or perhaps
Love You Forever: Learn all about a new sleep training method that really works! It’s called “creepin’.”
Ladies: Pull yourselves together … take a minute to work through your hormonal outbursts, and snap out of it! This is quite possibly one of the worst children’s books ever written. Let me explain …
If you’re not familiar with this story, let me paraphrase it for you: A mom has a new baby boy. She rocks him to sleep while singing him a special song (aww, sweet). The son grows to be a toddler. He annoys mama sometimes, but at the end of the day, she still rocks him while he sleeps, singing her special song (I find myself wondering how on earth she manages to pick up a sleeping toddler without waking him, but still, aww). Then the son grows to be a boy, a teenager, and finally, a man. At each step of the way, mama is still watching her son as he sleeps, rocking him, and singing to him … even as a grown man! (Okay, seriously …) Eventually, mama kicks the bucket while the son is holding her and singing the song (I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried). Then, the son goes home to his newborn baby daughter, watches her while she sleeps, picks her up, and sings her the song his mama sang to him … you know, like some sort of “circle of life” concept (or something…). I’ll bet he’s still creepin’ on her when she’s sixteen … anyway, the book ends (thank God) and the readers are left with a lump in their throats … or in my case, tears of laughter streaming down my face.
What this mama does to her son in this book can only be considered one thing: stalking. A few other phrases that come to mind are invasion of privacy, breaking and entering, attachment disorder, and flat. out. creepy!
Case in point – I give you some of my favorite illustrations from the book:
This mama’s so crazy, she got up in the middle of the night, strapped a step ladder to the roof of the family sedan, drove across town to her son’s house, and proceeded to climb into the second-story window of his bedroom. Why? You guessed it: so she could pick him up, rock him, and sing to him! Seriously. He must have been a heavy sleeper or something, because if I were asleep and my mom did that to me, I would probably mistake her for an intruder and punch her in the face. Does anyone else think mama cray-cray needs counseling? Or perhaps jail time?
I would also like to point out that the family cat, who appears on nearly every page, is either pictured dead or trying to end its miserable life …
… and that the illustrations also indicate that the son has a history of drinking, probably as a result of trying to suppress memories of his creepster mama:
So let’s hear it, friends: Is this book already tagged for your next garage sale, ready to find its way into the hands of another unsuspecting, hormonal mama? Or, has it managed to tug on your heartstrings enough to become a bedtime favorite? If it’s the latter, I feel sorry for your kids. 😉 What other “beloved” children’s books drive you crazy? Let us hear about it!
I completely agree. This book has always creeped me out and it make me uncomfortable. I received multiple copies over the years. I have never read it to my kids…
Add those multiple copies to your garage sale box and you can share the love with the next unsuspecting mama! 😉
When I was younger I used to think this book was the sweetest thing. That is until I married a man whose mom would totally try to do this if she would get away with it. The mom from this book needed a Dr. Phil intervention. Notice you never see a wife when he is an adult. His crazy mom scared her off and turned him into a weirdo too. I too refuse to buy this for my son. Thanks for the hilarious review.
HA! Too funny that you could see your MIL trying to do this!
I totally thought the same thing, until I read this recently…
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/09192013-the-sad-story-behind-i-love-you-forever/
Knowing it’s the author’s song to his stillborn twins makes it a little more impactful and meaningful. It’s unfortunate that the illustrations used in the book took it in a different direction.
Couldn’t agree more! I had the “privilege”, and I use that term loosely, to read this book just before this article and my mind went to the exact same place! This woman is a full on stalker! Let me tell you what’s wrong with this story from a male’s perspective. Holding the kid as a baby and toddler, fine, but it was always taught to me that you let a sleeping dog lie. Otherwise, I hope you’re prepared to deal with the cranky ass kid for the next couple of hours, all because you couldn’t stand to keep your mitts off of your spawn for one evening. Then we get to the middle years, the boy and teenage years. I like to call these the time of discovery years. And momma, if you want to bust in on me in the middle of the night when I was a teenager, you have another thing coming if you think I’m sleeping. You come into my room at that time and we’re both going to feel the shame for which we all know I’m talking about! Can I get some private time lady! Finally, the alcoholic son (never noticed the wine, good call out!) moves out and mom is still a crazy stalking lunatic. Where is her husband in this scenario??! I’ll tell you where! He’s at the bar drowning his sorrows and telling his buddies about his crazy wife who won’t stop spying on their kid! This woman arrives at her son’s new home and uses a ladder to break and enter into his bedroom. It’s bad enough that the mom is doing this, but for the first time, we truly get to see the impact this lady’s actions have had on his psyche. HE SLEEPS IN A TWIN BED WITH A COLLEGE NIGHT LIGHT AND WEARS FULL ON PAJAMAS TO BED! He’s busted. Broken. Kaput. With all the rooms in his house (it is a two story after all), you’re gonna tell me he doesn’t own a master bedroom or at the very least, the funds to buy himself a bigger bed or a set of boxer briefs?!
This guy is never getting laid. Ever. What they don’t tell you at the end of the book is that the girl he is holding at the end, singing that lullaby to… not his kid at all. Just some house he broke into. His momma taught him good…
While I agree in the literal sense that crawling through your grown son’s bedroom window is a little nuts and no reasonable mother of a toddler would dare pick up their quiet sleeping child, I think it’s been taken too literal. I think the little song is precious and the message is beautiful. If the song was sung to a sleeping toddler and just stroked his hair or by the bed side of your gravely sick grown man son it wouldn’t be creepy. And sung to your elderly mother on death’s door to let her know you truly loved her, isn’t wrong either. And then passing it on to your own children as a tradition is sweet.
It’s not like any sane person will read the book and think, “In that book it was ok to climb in the son’s window, so I’ll do it too”. Any person that would do that is nuts with or without a books help.
It is kinda creepy, but it was written by a guy who lost his 2 babies when they were stillborn. Maybe they should re-illustrate it.
I have read this book for nearly 11 years and I enjoy it. I am entering those stages of pre-tweenness and I would love to go back in time and rock that big ole boy one more time. What is great is we all get to choose what we like…
The bigger question for me is WHERE ARE MAX and RUBY’S PARENTS????? Hello DFS???
I don’t find this book creepy at all. But perhaps that because I don’t lack the ability to see beyond the obvious.
Like many children’s books, there is a much deeper message here. I sincerely doubt that the author is advocating for any mother to crawl through her grown son’s window. The metaphor is that, to a mom, her children will ALWAYS be her babies. Always. It doesn’t matter how old they are, whether they are married, single, gay, straight, sleep naked, or in full jammies…she will always be their mom. And that she will always be there for them. If you see this book as some sort of literal translation of a mother/son relationship, and not a metaphor for unconditional, unending love..then I’m sad for you.
I agree 100% Cali!
Hilarious review Erin. You still can’t convince me not to love this book though. My parents read this to me my whole, I’ve read it to my boys, my nephews read it with their mom, my mother in law who passed away a few years ago read it to my husband as a kid and to her grand son. The roots are too deep. The cat is creepy though, but in my opinion what cat isn’t creepy!
At first I thought this book was creepy!!! But Elle wanted to read it one night and I made up a kittle ditty for the song, and she was hooked. The literal meaning is creepy, but think outside the box to what the song is saying. As long as I’m living my baby you’ll be. I say this type of thing to Elle 5, and Sheamus 3.5 all the time! I tell them to “stop growing up so fast” and ” you’ll always be MY boy/girl”. I agree with others the illustrations ruined a sweet song, that I still have to sing EVERY night.