It all started when my 5 year old got really sick, really fast. It turned out she had strep throat. It was absolutely heart breaking to see her in so much pain. I stepped right in as mama and nurse- lots of snuggles, daily doses of medicine, luke warm baths, fluids and rest. When our kids are sick, it’s natural as mothers to stop our whole world to take care of them, right? We don’t even think twice about it! We just do whatever needs to be done… like running to Walgreens at 2 a.m. because we are completely out of Children’s Ibuprofen.
A few days passed and I had been feeling exhausted (what mom doesn’t?). I thought it was normal motherhood tiredness, until it hit me. And oh, did it hit me hard. I woke up in the middle of the night with the most painful sore throat I can ever recall. I couldn’t even swallow or drink water. I had to go to the sink every few minutes to spit (gross, I know) because I couldn’t swallow it hurt so bad. I knew it right away….I had indeed caught Strep from my oldest. I woke my husband up, in tears, saying I need help. Knowing he couldn’t really do anything, I just apparently wanted him to know and hold me while I cried like a big fat baby.
I went to Urgent Care the next morning and it was confirmed immediately; I tested positive for Strep. In fact, the doctor told me, “I haven’t seen a case this bad in an adult in years. Wow!” Yeah, wow is right..my throat is on FIRE. She sent me home with a heavy dose of antibiotics and said those four little words that we as moms almost laugh at when we hear “YOU NEED TO REST.” Rest!? What’s that? As a stay at home mama to three little wild women ages 5 and under, rest is not in my daily schedule.
I stopped on the way home to get a giant smoothie as I knew that’s probably all I would eat/drink for the entire day. I called my husband in tears saying that pain was so bad, I needed him to take the day off work. This is something I don’t take lightly. In the almost seven years my husband and I have been married, I could count on one hand the times I absolutely NEEDED him to take a day off for me. Labors, miscarriage and strep throat are all on that list now.
I came home, took one look at him and said I am going to be worthless today. I need to rest. I can’t take care of the girls. But, why did I feel so guilty saying those words to him? Why did I feel like a “bad” mom for saying I can’t take care of my kids. Why? Because of the unwritten rule that says MOMS AREN’T ALLOWED TO BE SICK! Am I right when I say the entire house shuts down when mama is sick?
Now let me be clear, my husband is an amazing helper. A supportive and committed teammate in this whole raisin’ kids gig. Without question, he agreed I needed to rest and stepped in for over 24 hours as the sole care taker. But, what really goes on in those 24 hours? It’s not as healing and restful as it sounded, to “rest” in bed all day.
My day was filled with lots of little knocks on the door, lots of tears why mommy can’t go to the park, and why mommy can’t you feed me lunch, why can’t you give me a bath mommy, etc. It was filled with only being able to half rest in bed because I am a mom which means I am never really alone in my thoughts. I am always thinking about my kids, especially when I hear them crying for me downstairs. Tears because Daddy didn’t cut their sandwich the right way, tears because Daddy didn’t sing the bedtime song like Mommy. When mom is sick, their whole world really does change.
To the mama who is sick: don’t feel guilty for resting. We feel guilty for stopping to only focus on ourselves because as mothers you simply don’t do that. We are constantly putting our children first. Take the day off, rest in bed, ask for help. Soon enough, you will feel better, and the your world will return normal again. Your kids (and husband) will survive when mom is sick.
