“Perseverance is in our DNA.”
A Hallmark Mahogany writer penned that when I still worked there, and it’s now on a card. It instantly came to mind as I listened to Ketanji Brown Jackson’s Supreme Court confirmation hearings.
Yes, she was raked over the coals by senators. But she endured. And she got a little emotional as she told a story about being a Black woman at Harvard her freshman year. She said she wondered if she’d made a mistake going there, wondered if she belonged. And one day, another Black woman she didn’t know saw her on campus.
“She leaned over as we crossed, and said, persevere,” Jackson said Wednesday.
I felt that in my spirit. Now this isn’t a think piece on Jackson’s hearing. She was excellent, but there are better places to find that. Plus, I haven’t been able to watch, I’ve tuned into NPR during kid drop-offs, pickups and other random car outings.
This is a solidarity post, because I happened to hear her as she voiced what so many Black women endure.
As a Black woman in college, in corporate America, and even as a Black mom, the struggle is real.
I’m no Harvard grad, but even at a predominately white state school, I had a hard time. I remember my roommate watching me do my hair and asking me if I wanted to eat my hair products. Then another girl asked her, “What’s it like to live with a Black person?” There were worse things, but I’ve tried to block them out. We persevere.
As a manager in corporate America, I know there are people who questioned if I’ve deserved the roles I’ve gotten, and I’ve even questioned myself at times. The imposter phenomenon is also real among women of color. The microaggressions and bias — both conscious and unconscious — are nearly constant in the workplace. Standing up for consumers and employees of color is something I’ve been passionate about in every role I’ve been in, but there’s always pushback. There are always people questioning the importance. It’s exhausting. But, we persevere.
As a mom of two littles, I always have to conscious of how I carry myself. How I look when I show up to talk to teachers, how and when I need to advocate for my kids so they get a fair shake because I know there’s bias against kids of color starting at early ages. Plus, my sweet kiddos have extra needs; my daughter is nonverbal and on the autism spectrum, and my son has ADHD and hearing loss, so there’s extra advocacy I need to do. Yes, I get tired. But I persevere. That’s what we do. Black moms, and all moms.
Even on long, hard days, when I didn’t get a workout in, didn’t finish my work to-do list, gave my kids a lame frozen or takeout dinner, I still try to look for a bit of joy. And I’m sure Jackson looked for a bit of joy after her long, hard days as well.
For me, I text other women of color I appreciate. I crack jokes, send GIFs, and show love to current and former co-workers. Because, that’s also what we do — lift each other up.
I listen to a little Gospel or maybe some H.E.R. Maybe I have a glass of wine or make homemade ice cream with my kids. Maybe I sit down and write something personal, finally, because I enjoy it, but there’s never enough time in the day.
I persevere. What choice do I have — do any of us have — except to keep on moving?
I saw another Hallmark card in the store recently and I picked it up because I had JUST been talking to co-workers of color about making sure we celebrated joy together.
It says, “There’s all kinds of mess in the world that tries to steal our joy.”
Ain’t that the truth? But you know what? We will will persevere. And, “We gonna be joyful regardless.”