This Just In: It’s Possible to Have a Stress-Free, Natural Birth in a Hospital

Part of the joy of walking the line between being naturally-minded and “mainstream” is that you get the side-eye from both crowds, especially when it comes to pregnancy and birth. The natural people truly CANNOT UNDERSTAND why you, a healthy woman with no known health complications, would choose to have a hospital birth; I mean, don’t you just want to have your baby in the comfort of your own home? With a midwife? And a doula? And lavender essential oils wafting through the air?

And the mainstream crowd looks at you like you’ve got three heads when you say you don’t want an epidural. “HA,” they chortle, “Everyone says they’re going natural until they feel the pain of the contractions. Just wait—when the pain hits, you’ll be begging for all the meds!” And Heaven forbid you mention that you don’t plan to be induced before 42 weeks. “WHAT?!” They scream, looking at your 40 weeks, 1 day pregnant belly in horror. “Is that even allowed? The baby is NEVER going to come on its own if you don’t induce.” You may think I’m exaggerating, but I assure you I am not. Since I walk the line between the two camps, I’ve had very similar reactions to some of my birth choices.

But if motherhood has taught me anything, it’s this: sometimes you have to tune out what everyone else around you is saying and do what’s right for you. And for me, the right thing is a mix of both approaches: I want to have my babies in a hospital and with a doctor, but without many of the traditional aspects of hospital delivery: i.e., no coached pushing, no pain meds, and no birthing on my back. And yeah, when I’m laboring, I want lavender essential oils wafting through the air, ok?

I believe that there are many of us that toe the line between the two camps. So for those of you fellow nut cases who may be considering a natural birth in a hospital, I’d like to offer some insight and encouragement.

I recently had my second hospital birth, and the experience was downright wonderful. The natural community will be horrified to learn that I did not have a doula (although I think doulas are wonderful!); it was just me and my sweet husband. With two med-free hospital births now under my belt, I’d like to think that I have learned a few things. And, since I probably should add this disclaimer, please note that none of this is medical advice. The following assumes that if you’re attempting a natural birth, you have no known health concerns. Additionally, these tips come from my own personal experience and research, but everyone is different and should obviously discuss their birth preferences and concerns with a trusted medical provider. Whew. Now that that’s out of the way, here are my tips:

• First and foremost: choose a doctor who is not just tolerant, but whole-heartedly supportive of your natural choices. And make a plan with your doctor ahead of time to make sure that, in the event of her absence, a doctor of similar mindset will be able to be present for your birth.
• Similarly, it’s essential to select a hospital that will not be flabbergasted by the fact that you don’t want an epidural. Choose a hospital that is familiar with both medicated and unmedicated births, and won’t push you in either direction. If you decide you want meds at the last minute—great! This is your birth, your baby, and your choice. But when you’re in such a vulnerable state, the last thing you need is medical staff pressuring you in either direction.
• Do you want the extra support of a doula? Awesome, get one! Don’t want a doula, or can’t afford one? That’s okay too! Doula or no doula, you can do this.
• Have a trusted support person present with you, and available to physically support you if needed. If this can be your partner, even better.
• If you’re not getting an epidural, avoid laboring on your back, unless of course you’re some unicorn who enjoys laboring this way. This is typically a very painful position for birthing a baby without pain meds: Google it, if you don’t believe me!
• Research pushing positions ahead of time, and choose a few that you think you might like. When you’re in labor, you’ll want to try different positions until you find something that works for you. Don’t worry if it’s unconventional—if it feels right and your doctor is cool with it, go for it; just keep in mind that if you do choose an epidural at any point, you will need to stay on your back the rest of the time.
• You may want to consider requesting that medical staff NOT “coach” you or tell you when to push. In my experience, coached pushing is much more difficult for the body than just listening to your body’s cues and simply pushing when you feel the urge. This one made a world of difference for me in my second birth vs. my first.
• I used to roll my eyes at people who told me that they used mental visuals to get through contractions. Since my first birth did not go very smoothly, I thought I may as well give it a try the second time around—and boy, did it make a difference. For me, picturing riding the contraction up a wave and then back down again as it subsided helped a lot, because I could visualize that the pain of the contraction would end in a few seconds.
• I really believe that 80% of managing birth pain is mental. Dim the lights. Play music, incorporate your favorite scent (if diffusing essential oils, just make sure they are safe to be around baby—personally, I chose to turn my diffuser off before the baby came out) and do whatever you need to do to focus/get in the right headspace.
• If the hospital has rooms with tubs, call ahead and request one when you think you’re close to heading to the hospital; laboring in warm water can make a world of difference for some women.

Of course, birth is such an unpredictable beast, that you can never truly be prepared for what’s in store. But whatever birth may throw at you, remember this truth: you are the boss of your body, the boss of your baby, and the boss of your birth—despite the side-eye.