What I Want My Twin Daughters To Know

I have twin daughters. They’re two. And I will tell you, they’re most definitely going on 16. 

There was a time when I was pregnant, where my husband found this meme of a child throwing money out of a window. That’s how we felt when we found out there were TWO girls in my belly. If you know my husband, you know one of the first things he said when I told him we were having twins was, “how are we going to be able to afford this?!” I want to make it clear that we prayed for these babies — even if having two at a time was spontaneous and surprising! As shocked as we were, and sometimes still are, the idea of having two girls encompassed so many emotions for the two of us. 

I liked to daydream about whether or not they’d look alike, act alike or talk alike. Now that they’ve gifted the world with their first two years, they most certainly are two very different people that just had the same parents that were also born on the same day. Not alike. At all. 

But their very presence in this world, has my heart urging to tell them things. To caution, but also to explain. To speak from experience, but also encourage choice. I decided now is as good of a time as any to start pouring my heart out about things I want my daughters to know: 

1. Life isn’t fair. Sweet girls, I love you so, but life sure does have curve balls. Just remember momma said there’d be days like this. If I could keep you little forever, I’d bottle you up and hold your heart so that nobody could hurt it. If I teach you anything, I want you to learn how to have mental toughness and grit. Overwhelming feelings may come, but know that they will also leave. And I’m here for you every step of the way. 
2. People aren’t always going to like you. Oh, if I had a penny for every time I heard this… I’d be a wealthy woman! To tell you the truth, girls, I’ve always struggled with this. Until I became a mother, I didn’t realize how silly it is to care that much about what other people think. Just know that people aren’t always going to like you. If you did something to harm them, please apologize. However, sometimes there’s nothing you can say or do. 
3. Your mother is here to help you. The day I dread most is when you two (and your brother) decide they don’t need me anymore. I had this realization the other day, actually, when you didn’t want my help putting on your shoes. I know there are many things you can do on your own. But know this — I am here. I will always be. 
4. God gave you each other for a reason. Have each other’s backs please. You’re family. I already have the realization (I have a lot of those, by the way) that you probably won’t both want to do the same activity or sport. And that’s fine. But if you do- -please love each other through the mistakes. I mean, what if you both decide to try out for the soccer team? What if one of you makes it and one of you doesn’t? Ugh. It’s almost too much for me to bear thinking about. I pray that you always feel for each other, though. Because sometimes it may seem that all you have is each other. Be on the same team. 
5. Make memories with each other. You don’t have to be alike. People will sometimes think you’re the same because you’re twins. Take that and run with it. Make memories with each other–however similar or different you are! You are so uniquely made. 
6. Stay humble. Stay kind. In a world full of news that is almost too much to bear sometimes, know that you’ve been given gifts to share with the world. Your gifts are meant to share, yes, but also know that those gifts can be taken away easily. Be humble if people praise your gifts. Stay kind no matter what. Being able to do these things, themselves, are gifts. Remember, you never know when someone needs your smile or your words or your kind act of service or your hug. 
7. Social Media is only the perception of what others want you to see. Girlfriends, don’t get it twisted. I’m not even certain what social media will look like when you’re 49 and want to get on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. HA! Just kidding. You wont’ be 49, you’ll be 50! But seriously. The things you see on there are merely perceptions. It’s a highlight reel of people’s lives. It’s often times not reality. I pray you have the discernment to see that when that time {gulp} comes around. 
8. Words do 1 of 2 things: give life OR give death. I mentioned having gifts before. You will discover what those are. But what I want you to know about words is this: words can hurt and cut very deep. Words can’t be taken back–and often words are what scar people so deeply. Be careful with your words. I’m not a pro at this, by the way. There are many things I’ve said and done that I’m not proud of. And when and if this happens, apologize if you can. Most importantly, forgive yourself and move on. A life spent looking backwards misses all the beauty that lies in front of it. 
9. Your parents aren’t perfect. You will be three or four by the time you realize this. Six or seven if we’re lucky. But you’re pretty darn smart. So, like I said before, we have to forgive ourselves or the coulda, woulda, shoulda, fear and anxiety will creep into a crack of our weaknesses, and overcome us. Please know we’re not perfect, and we will never claim to be. Our personal journeys have stories to tell. THAT’S for sure. When it comes time for stories, though, talk to me first… because chances are your father’s are going to be inappropriate. HA!
10. You only get one life. Follow your dreams. NEVER APOLOGIZE for setting a goal and coming up with a plan to achieve it. I will help you. I promise. If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that we only get one. Life is short. And no matter how hard you try to soak in each day, today is the only day that’s promised. Yesterday is for memories and learning. And tomorrow is never promised. Don’t live in fear, sweet girls. Fear is a liar that will steal your joy. So live each day with love for others, love for yourself, and faith in something bigger than yourself. 

Dream big, daughters of mine. Momma loves you.