What to Look For in a Divorce Lawyer

This post is written and sponsored by Ash Law.

A potential new client told me she was looking for someone “mean” and “nasty.”

I told her that I’ve been called “ruthless” before, my nickname is “Khaleesi,” and my lawyer friends will occasionally send me a referral case with “Dracarys” in a text or email. 

When you’re separating or divorcing, you may think you want someone mean and nasty. Maybe your significant other cheated on you. Maybe they hurt you in a way that’s too painful to properly put into words. 

And now, you want to hurt them back.

If you have kids, and you don’t love those kids, by all means, go hire someone mean and nasty. A mean, nasty divorce lawyer will scorch the earth and everyone on it – including your beautiful children. You will pay them five or six figures to do this. It will be expensive and painful. And co-parenting will be nothing short of impossible when the smoke clears.

If you have kids, and you do love them, you need a fierce advocate, but more than that, you need someone who understands the big picture. Someone who cares what will happen to your family long after the ink dries on the judgment.

Not every family law attorney has been through what you’re going through. In fact, not all of them are even parents. So, they are not able to comprehend know what it’s like to live with your heart outside of your body, walking around in a vulnerable little person.

I’ve been where you are. It will never be as bad as it is right now. A break-up with kids involved affects every area of your life. Forever.

No matter how angry you are, how sad you are, stop and think about the day your child graduates from high school, or gets married, or has their first child. What you decide to do during a break-up will affect your child in every area of his or her life. You have the power to make or break how your kids view relationships.

So, what’s your next step in hiring a divorce lawyer?

Talk to your co-parent about your desire for an amicable break-up. Work together to come up with a plan to continue parenting in a way that teaches your child that your love for him or her will always be stronger than your hate for anything about your co-parent.

If you’re thinking, that’s impossible, because you’re dealing with a criminal, narcissist, deadbeat, etc., it’s time to call a fierce advocate.


ASH LAW is a boutique law firm, located in Missouri, and dedicated to thoughtful estate planning and fierce family law advocacy. To schedule a consultation, call or email ASH LAW at 816-895-2990 or [email protected].


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