I’m not a cool mom by really any standards. I’m a regular mom, plain as they come. I hover and helicopter far more than I should in most aspects of my kids’ lives. I rarely let them out of my earshot. They have been known to eat random things off the grocery store floor before I can slap it out of their hand, and I tend to just shrug and hope they don’t get a stomach bug. Oftentimes when they are being naughty, I catch myself trying not to laugh out loud.
We make mistakes on a daily basis, but try to learn from them and do better the next time around. By no means are we the experts. I do not follow any “musts” for parenting, because we all end up eating our words when we say “never” or “always” when it comes to children. They humble us on sometimes an hourly basis. But after birthing three energetic, tough boys, we have decided to abide by one essential rule for our home, which might not be the most “basic” of parenting techniques.
They can play whatever and however they want within the four walls of our house.
- Want to play catch with a football in the living room? Sure.
- Oh, you would like to ride your EZ Roller and scooter around the entire first floor all winter long? Go for it.
- You feel like treating the couch and family room as if it is a WWE Smackdown Ring, jumping from furniture and smashing pillows in to one another’s backs? Yeah, fine by me.
- Want to use a mallet to bash scrap wood in the garage? Go ahead, just wear safety glasses!
We encourage them to play rough, practice dribbling the basketball and let them run around like wild things. It is how they bond with each other. Are there limits? Sure. There are rules regarding personal touch and safety, and being mindful of the things and people surrounding them. Have household items broken? Yes, but actually far less than you would assume. The stuff is not what we deem as important, but rather the fact my boys feel free to play. I strive for them to feel comfortable, and to understand it is as much their home as is it ours. Of course they are not allowed to maliciously harm anything, but if a drink gets spilled they know where to find the paper towels. If a book gets knocked off a shelf from an out of control Star Wars light saber then they know to pick it back up.
It is our belief that engaging in risky and/or rough (yet supervised) play will guide them to be resilient and conscientious problem solvers. I want them to be able to take calculated risks, and build confidence in their decision-making. To be able to solve problems, work out social disagreements, understand consent and find excitement in the little things of life makes for a more well rounded human. Increasing playtime and physical activity is our ultimate goal so that we may steer them away from a sedentary lifestyle and outlook. By helping them to embrace challenges rather than shield them from it, I hope to grow boys who love new adventures and seek out new ways to have fun.
At the end of the day, it is imperative for our children to feel free to simply be kids. To play, laugh and be imaginative is essential to their growth and development. This life comes with a lot of elbows flying and dodging soccer balls, but I guess I’ll consider it a good way to keep me on my toes. One day they will want to be fully immersed in video games and moody teenage friends.
So for now, I’ll sacrifice my couch cushions as gladiator shields and revel in the innocence of childhood fun. I’ll resist the urge to wrap them in bubble wrap, and make sure our insurance cards are always close at hand.
